Anyone reading this has probably thought about, started, has been doing, or maybe just heard about the ketogenic diet. (The previous subject matter of this blog was real estate, so readers wondered what P.I.T.I. stands for. what market conditions are in their area, and what the heck a' due diligence fee' is.) These days, however, there is more meaning to me in sharing my experiences with and understanding of the protocol. The instructions are straightforward and clear; keep carbohydrate intake to 20g/day or fewer (total carbs, not net); if it's not on Page 4*, don't eat it; don't eat if you're not hungry, and stop when you're satiated.

Easy enough, right?

Well, just as the assembly instructions for an IKEA PAX Wardrobe may tell us exactly what we need to do to put the thing together, the implementation may prove a bit more difficult.

We can dutifully take a grocery shopping list to the store and not purchase anything that even resembles bread, pasta, rice, cookies, pretzels, or ice cream. We may clear our pantry and fridge of anything not on the program, resolve to improve our health, feel better and lose weight. Yet, we can find that the reality of making changes in something as fundamental as what we eat starts to feel like deciphering that IKEA instruction manual—one written in Swedish.

The challenges come when we must take action to execute the plan. Why? Because forces are working against us. Sadly, the most powerful force is ourselves. How many times have we thought, or even said out loud, "I was going great, then life happened?" I have, and almost certainly you have as well. It has practically become a meme, particularly in regards to recent history. The thing is, though, life happens every day. We know this. Go to the shore, plant your feet in the sand, and wait for the waves to stop.

It’s the same with life. Please contemplate the last day where life didn't happen. Oh, some days are more manageable, happier, and better than others. Still, there is always the proverbial fly in our ointment for the most part. From the profound to the profane, things happen: death, divorce, deception, disappointment. There's an almost infinite list of unpleasant and unnerving aspects to being a sentient creature. Squirrels may or may recognize their lives are full of danger, but we do.

Where does all this profundity tie in with what we eat? At the intersection of "Oh, no!" and "Get me some ice cream!" is where. You see, ice cream (or any other food) does not fix problems unless the problem is hunger. That's it. Yet, we give ourselves leave to eat our problems out of existence. How's that working for us? It never did for me. Take a gander at photos from my previous life, and you'll see what happens when denial and desperation collude to wreck us. I allowed myself all the same excuses many people do. I blamed some unspecified moment from my past or resentment at not being able to eat everything I wanted like the thin people around me could or no one understanding my oh-so-special challenges. (No, there were no special challenges. It was just easier to think things were more complicated for me. "Nobody knows how I feel!") This, dear reader, is what we know as a Pity Party. I threw them for myself every chance I got. Again, the photos show the results of that practice.

What's a person to do? Aren't we advised to not beat ourselves up if we ‘strumble’ (a mashup of 'struggle' and 'stumble' that came out of my mouth one early morning while recording a video snippet for Patreon) and to give ourselves some grace? That's all well and good, but at some point, we have to give ourselves some grief as well. Explanations are one thing, and excuses are another. And acting like potato chips will make things all better is an irrational excuse for eating junk food. C'mon, we all know it.

If we wait for the day when all is easy and bright before we decide to stop eating food, which only makes us feel worse physically and 'ementally' (another early morning mashup: emotionally + mentally), we have a long wait. And if that day came, we'd probably use food to celebrate. "Ding dong, our troubles are behind us! Speaking of that, pass the Ding Dongs!"

No, we must realize that food doesn't solve anything. If hunger isn't the problem, food is not the solution. It's just that simple.

This is not to say it's that easy. But we've been through some things, and we can get past the cookie aisle without caving. We really can.

The first things we need to clear out of our mental pantry are the excuses. We need to hold our own feet to the fire. We'll be better for it. I promise.