Getting Past Asking “What’s Wrong With Me?”
/Weight Loss Fluctuations (4.28.2025 to 5.4.2025)
When we endeavor to change aspects of our lives, whether our habits, attitudes, social interactions or converting our pantries to junk food-free zones, struggles can ensue. Struggling makes sense, particularly if the adjustments are to decades-old routines. The trick is to keep on keeping on, replacing our comfy, familiar customs that no longer serve us well with those that do, bit by bit. But when we start measuring ourselves against yardsticks of what other people achieve, or rather, our assumptions of their achievements, we can find ourselves coming up short in comparison. We look at them, then back at ourselves. "I've been trying so hard, but I'm still tempted by all my old ways. Everyone else is coasting.”
“What's wrong with me?!"
Just that one question, that flash of self-doubt, can initiate an emotional negative feedback loop that leads us to spiral downward into the "I'm a big, fat failure" frame of mind that almost guarantees we'll fail. Ultimately, our psyche is filled with suspicions that we're somehow broken until the hope of pulling out of the descending corkscrew of feeling like a loser feels impossible. What starts as a wish to feel better about ourselves, whether cosmetically, being freed from aches and pains, or feeling more in control of our choices than we have been can start great. Then maybe we read what some app or chart in a magazine tells us what we should weigh, how many friends we should have, or how much money we need to avoid debtors' prison in our later years. Things then become about comparisons rather than gauging ourselves only to ourselves. "What benchmarks do I want—for myself? How many small habits have I changed for the better—for myself? How do I feel now in contrast to before?"
Being challenged or tempted isn't a failure. It's part of life. And it certainly doesn't indicate having something wrong or being defective.
I know of what I write. For decades, I bought my ticket for the "What's Wrong with Me Carousel." Round and round I went, getting exactly nowhere. It seemed that my friends, colleagues, total strangers passing on the street, mustered whatever courage, willpower, or self-respect needed to be … to be … well, to be not me. They rallied for the better in so many respects (the great, overarching one being weight) while I would progress a skosh and quickly regress a bunch.
These days, perhaps due to the wisdom that can come with advanced age, I recognize the considerable brain energy I wasted, first by comparing myself to other peple and second, third, fiftieth, and two millionth by running myself down because of the first thing. I've never been perfect, any more than anyone reading this. Sometimes, I've been—and can still be—a jerk, a dufus, ill-tempered. I used to be very fat. While those are hardly bragging points, they're also not the full measure of who I am or ever have been. And, for goodness sake, there was nothing wrong with me. Yes, I was fat. I ate foods that worked against me. I let the 'defeat' of that lead to feeling like crap about myself. Years and years of that. Can you imagine?
I'll wager you can.
Fortunately, I found a way to stop and reverse the trend just as my spirit, soul, and mind circled the drain. Let's stop the trash talk about ourselves. Let's stop assuming that everyone around us has it all figured out. No one does. No one is completely 'fixed.' It's all part of being the best we can be, moment by moment—bit by bit. And let’s find a way to work some kind words and thoughts about ourselves into the mix. We don’t have to express them out loud. Thinking them can be enough.
Friends, if I can do this, you can do this. I promise.
Disclaimer: I’m not a medical doctor, researcher, or Ph.D., but instead, I’ve been fortunate to have had the time and resources to research the ketogenic diet, also known as LCHF (low carb/high fat). The information I share is based solely on my understanding of that research. We are all responsible for our own choices, including what we put in our mouths, and there’s no substitute for each of us checking things out ourselves. And I’m not a medical professional in any way. Go Keto With Casey is not a medical site. “Duh,” you might say. But best to make it clear to all. I welcome questions, comments, and even civil criticism. I’m still learning. So, if you have something to add, go for it. Links in this post and all others may direct you to affiliate links, where I will receive a small amount of the purchase price of any items you buy through those links. Thanks!
