I CAN’T vs I HAVEN’T YET (Words Matter)
/Weight Loss Fluctuations (9.15.2025 to 9.21.2025)
Most of us grew up being told something to the effect of 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.' Granted, that good advice fell by the wayside as soon as we spent time in the company of other people. We quickly replaced the lesson of keeping our trap shut and started to embrace more of an attitude like the famous quote from Alice Roosevelt: "If you haven't got anything nice to say about somebody, come sit next to me." It's a clever thing to say, if unkind. And when the person you have nothing nice to say about is yourself, you can't be anywhere else but next to that person.
The fact is that we talk to ourselves in ways we'd never do to others. (Note, if you're someone who casts aspersions, insults, and jabs at other people, shame on you. Stop doing that.)
We can grow so accustomed to the wretchedness of our internal dialogue that we're unaware of its impact on not only our feelings, but also on our behavior. And our emotions and actions are bound together so tautly that it's difficult to tease out which precedes the other. Do I keep feasting on food that made me fat because I'm having a mood, or am I knee deep in this awful mood because I—yet again—ate an entire sleeve of Oreo's?
"Is a puzzlement," as Yul Brynner's character in The King and I goes.
Along with a myriad other uniquely human quirks, running myself down has sometimes been the only 'running' I've done.
(See what I did there? I worked a mildly self-deprecating comment into a blog post about how we shouldn't make self-deprecating remarks. Or even engage in self-belittling thoughts. What a dummy I am. D'oh! I did it again! Do you see how insidious thinking smack about oneself can be?)
Anywho, when we pummel ourselves with words and phrases, use taunts to wear down our efforts at doing better and better, whatever that looks like for us, we create the famous self-fulfilling prophecy. We repeat supposed non-complementary truisms about ourselves until they are virtual mottos: I can never get through the holidays without caving … I'm powerless against the forces of chocolate! … I'm destined to be the heaviest person in the room, no matter where I go. I've tried everything, and nothing works, so why bother? …
I know of what I write. There were times when it seemed like not just me taking potshots at myself in my brain, but rather a coven of meanies all having a go at me. I'm a nice person (mostly), and I wouldn't use negative words with anyone else that I use with myself. You might be the same way. What we, as decent people, tend to do is to encourage others. We boost and buoy, offer cheer and comfort. But we reserve acidic and accusing words in the quiver that we store the sharpest arrows, aimed at our psyches. What's a body to do?
Well, if we can talk ourselves into repeating behaviors that don't serve us well, we can flip the script and use language that bolsters us. As trite as it may seem, and as the old saw goes, whether you tell yourself you can or tell yourself you cannot, you're right. Reframing our thoughts from 'I never have done' to 'I haven't done so yet' can make all the difference. As I've shared so often, I knew that low-carb worked for me since my sophomore year of college in 1977. I returned to it sporadically over the years, but eventually reached a point where I would say out loud that I knew the benefits of cutting carbs, but "I just can't pass on tortilla chips." Can you imagine? Eating tortilla chips was the hill on which I was willing to die?
And I couldn't pass on tortilla chips—until I did. I now have no more interest in the golden, salty triangles than in a basket of gravel. Over time, I've learned to change what I say to myself and how I say it. It has helped immensely.
Practice chucking your existing playbook of life and replacing it with a fresh manuscript. One where you're the hero and also the one being saved from the boogeyman of negativity. Word by word, adjective by adjective, day by day.
Words matter. Let's use them wisely.
If I can do this, you can do this. I promise.
Disclaimer: I’m not a medical doctor, researcher, or Ph.D., but instead, I’ve been fortunate to have had the time and resources to research the ketogenic diet, also known as LCHF (low carb/high fat). The information I share is based solely on my understanding of that research. We are all responsible for our own choices, including what we put in our mouths, and there’s no substitute for each of us checking things out ourselves. And I’m not a medical professional in any way. Go Keto With Casey is not a medical site. “Duh,” you might say. But best to make it clear to all. I welcome questions, comments, and even civil criticism. I’m still learning. So, if you have something to add, go for it. Links in this post and all others may direct you to affiliate links, where I will receive a small amount of the purchase price of any items you buy through those links. Thanks!
