BALANCING SELF-FORGIVENESS AND SELF-AWARENESS
/Weight Loss Fluctuations (8.11.2025 to 8.17.2025)
Have you ever been judged by other people? Have you ever judged others? Assessing others' lives, looks, and livelihoods is sport for some of us. That's not an attractive quality in anyone. It's also a waste of mental energy. What is an even greater bootless errand is judging our past behavior. Are there learning opportunities in self-reflection? Certainly. Is dwelling on the times when we fell short of our goals productive? Probably not.
Neither is brushing off how our choices and actions contribute to our disappointments.
I know of whence I speak.
It's a precarious balancing act to give ourselves some grace for our foibles while simultaneously holding our feet to the fire. As contradictory as the concepts of accusation and absolution are, some of us have a long history of holding them both in our minds at the same time. I know my thoughts vacillated between letting myself off the hook for being fat—laying the blame at the feet of the insensitive comments and jokes and my expense made by some folks in my past, my oh-so-unique (not) circumstances, and even my giant second baby with whom I gained 60 pounds during the pregnancy and loost about 4 ounces after I somehow squeezed out his humongous self—and hating myself for eating more than I could have ever needed.
'Not my fault!'… 'Yes, my fault!'… 'I'm a victim!'… 'I'm an idiot!'
The sound of ping-pong balls in my head was deafening.
So, what's to do about the yin and yang, the back and forth, the two-headed coin that keeps us gyrating but getting nowhere? I had to tilt towards the side of holding myself accountable and away from the 'the Universe is unfair to me'side.
I had to get over myself.
It has taken practice, and I continue working on it every day. The food is no longer a challenge—and when I write that, I still find it astonishing—but there are other aspects of my life in which I am the only obstacle to becoming who and what I want to be. Sure, there are those true hurdles and impediments which one needs to overcome. But mostly there's just me, standing in my way, like some doppleganger standing in front of me, hands on hips and wide-stance, preventing me from passing on my way to, oh, I don't know, doing the squats, lunges, and crunches I know I should do. She assures me that I needn't bother with my resistance training or strengthening my core. 'You have the rest of the day for that. Take a load off.' (Keep in mind, my 'load' is most often already in the off position.)
'What a jerk she is, blocking me from achieving my goals!'
So, yet again, it takes effort to stare down that harridan, resist the inclination for my at-rest body to remain at rest, and to challenge myself to do what needs doing. 'Out of my way, harridan. I'm going forward. Baby steps, perhaps, but forward nonetheless. Skedaddle!'
How to balance self-forgiveness and self-awareness? The same way one gets to Carnegie Hall, per the old joke: Practice, kid. Practice. And enough practice eventually shapeshifts into habits. We can replace acquitting ourselves of responsibility for the results of our choices with acceptance that we are the only ones who can change certain aspects of our lives. It sucks, no doubt. But ultimately embracing control is more gratifying than feeling like a dandelion seed being blown of its puffball and taken wherever the wind carries it.
We have power. We need to grab it with both hands.
And if I can change my ways, you can as well. I promise.
Disclaimer: I’m not a medical doctor, researcher, or Ph.D., but instead, I’ve been fortunate to have had the time and resources to research the ketogenic diet, also known as LCHF (low carb/high fat). The information I share is based solely on my understanding of that research. We are all responsible for our own choices, including what we put in our mouths, and there’s no substitute for each of us checking things out ourselves. And I’m not a medical professional in any way. Go Keto With Casey is not a medical site. “Duh,” you might say. But best to make it clear to all. I welcome questions, comments, and even civil criticism. I’m still learning. So, if you have something to add, go for it. Links in this post and all others may direct you to affiliate links, where I will receive a small amount of the purchase price of any items you buy through those links. Thanks!
